Why No One Talks About Friends With Benefits Anymore

Friends with benefits – is it the answer that everyone has been searching for? Couple-up friends are interrogated for the truth…

Exactly what the title says really – what’s up with that? I remember five years ago when my friends and I were first indulging in the so called friends with benefits situations, it was the biggest craze. Now everyone is settling down, getting married and having babies… Am I too young to still be having mind-blowing sex with complete strangers? Or is society just not grown-up enough to deal with it?

I decided to ask a few of my married and coupled-up friends what their views were on the situation, and to be honest, I wasn’t all that surprised by what I found out.

My friend Janet lives in downtown Port Elizabeth and has been married to James for about five years I guess. They are happily married, and they have just had their first child – a baby girl. They both have good jobs and enjoy luxurious vacations. I used to wonder from time to time if I was missing out on something by not having what they were having. Luckily I’m friends with them enough for them to spill their guts out to me! 😉

Janet said that she recently indulged in extra-curricular activity with the gardener they had hired to sort out the backyard after a long, bitter winter. Neither of the two had time to do it so they called a guy, and what a guy turned up! He was hot – every part the gardener fantasy you would imagine. She hit on him, he gave in and eventually, they were screwing in the couch just twenty minutes before James was due to come home. It was exciting, a fantasy she had always had, and possibly one of the most exhilarating experiences she had ever had.

Both of them knew that the relationship would never go any further than casual sex, and when the job was done, they said their goodbye’s without so much as a second thought. Janet got the confidence boost she had needed after the baby had been born, and some of her needs, as well as her garden, got the sorting out it needed.

James regularly travelled for work, and in fact, we even travelled together on a few trips. We’ve slept together a handful of times, and this happened when we were talking about my sexual preferences, and he admitted that he often did the same – used sex date websites to get the sexual gratification Janet hadn’t been giving him since the baby had come along.

Neither of the two were any the wiser as to what the other was doing, and they both got something out of it that they felt was missing. They had both indulged in a little friends with benefits action, and everyone was a great deal happier because of it.

It’s funny because most of my couple-up friends had similar stories to tell when I asked them of their sexual exploits. The majority of them had at least once indulged in an infidelity, and their relationships were flowing along quite nicely.

Could it be that friends with benefits is actually the answer to a long and happy marriage or relationship?

Maybe we should just cut the crap and get on with it, just as I am? Wouldn’t the world be a much happier place if sex dating was considered the “norm”?

Casual Sex Dating Taboos You Should Break

Fancy dipping your toes in the casual sex dating world? Here are some of the biggest taboos that you should break!

Let’s face it; it might be 2015 but casual sex dating is still very much considered to be a taboo. If women indulge in a spot of NSA fun, they are considered to be “easy” or any one of the “bad” words that you’ve probably already heard of. If a guy does it, he gets a slap on the back from his buddies, and every one celebrates with a nice cold beer in their local Bethelsdorp bar.

You can’t deny that double standards still exist, but male and female alike, there are certain taboos that you SHOULD and WILL break through when you enter the realms of the casual sex dating worlds. One thing is most definitely for sure – your life is about to change if you’ve never given this a shot before.

It is bad to sleep with someone on the first date…

Really? Is it really that big a deal if a woman opens her legs on the first date? If she has fun, and he has fun, and it’s consensual, enjoyable sex, who really cares whether or not its the fifth date, or the first?

You should never swap names or phone numbers…

Okay, so if you are cheating on a long term partner (or even short term), giving out real names, Facebook web pages and phone numbers is probably not the best idea in the world. There’s a good chance that you are going to get caught if you leave a paper trail. However, if you are a single pringle, enjoying a few nights out as a single guy or gal, swap names, phone numbers, email address, whatever you want. It could become a regular thing. This doesn’t mean a boyfriend or girlfriend situation; this means a regular casual sex thing with someone that you actually like, and knows how to work you in the bedroom.

Casual sex is dirty…

This is just ridiculous. Most of us have had just as naughty experiences with long term partners, if not naughtier, than they do with the casual sex partners they come across. Admittedly some people out there find it easier to bare their sexual preferences with someone they barely know, but for the most part, there is very little “dirty” (in the bad way) about casual sex dating.

Enjoying great sex can hardly be seen as dirty, can it?

Casual sex dating is just shagging a whole load of different people…

Some casual daters have the same sexual partners for years in a row, barely even thinking about sleeping with anyone else. Just because you are just sleeping with one person, doesn’t mean that it’s evolving into a relationship. You can casually date someone for ever… In fact, most people would probably prefer this. Imagine not needing to go through a breakup!

You can’t learn anything emotionally…

Casual sex dating is MORE beneficial if you want to learn about love, sex, lust and relationships. You will learn about a lot of different people, and you will learn a lot of different lessons, both in the bedroom and out of it. You won’t be hurting anyone’s feelings by choosing to be upfront about your casual dating, and that’s a good thing because honesty is something rarely found these days.

There are a lot of taboos surrounding the topic of casual sex dating but just remember this – gay dating was once seen as a taboo, and they are now allowed to get married in some places! Evolution of relationships – could casual sex dating actually be the future?