Friends with benefits – is it the answer that everyone has been searching for? Couple-up friends are interrogated for the truth…

Exactly what the title says really – what’s up with that? I remember five years ago when my friends and I were first indulging in the so called friends with benefits situations, it was the biggest craze. Now everyone is settling down, getting married and having babies… Am I too young to still be having mind-blowing sex with complete strangers? Or is society just not grown-up enough to deal with it?

I decided to ask a few of my married and coupled-up friends what their views were on the situation, and to be honest, I wasn’t all that surprised by what I found out.

My friend Janet lives in downtown Port Elizabeth and has been married to James for about five years I guess. They are happily married, and they have just had their first child – a baby girl. They both have good jobs and enjoy luxurious vacations. I used to wonder from time to time if I was missing out on something by not having what they were having. Luckily I’m friends with them enough for them to spill their guts out to me! 😉

Janet said that she recently indulged in extra-curricular activity with the gardener they had hired to sort out the backyard after a long, bitter winter. Neither of the two had time to do it so they called a guy, and what a guy turned up! He was hot – every part the gardener fantasy you would imagine. She hit on him, he gave in and eventually, they were screwing in the couch just twenty minutes before James was due to come home. It was exciting, a fantasy she had always had, and possibly one of the most exhilarating experiences she had ever had.

Both of them knew that the relationship would never go any further than casual sex, and when the job was done, they said their goodbye’s without so much as a second thought. Janet got the confidence boost she had needed after the baby had been born, and some of her needs, as well as her garden, got the sorting out it needed.

James regularly travelled for work, and in fact, we even travelled together on a few trips. We’ve slept together a handful of times, and this happened when we were talking about my sexual preferences, and he admitted that he often did the same – used sex date websites to get the sexual gratification Janet hadn’t been giving him since the baby had come along.

Neither of the two were any the wiser as to what the other was doing, and they both got something out of it that they felt was missing. They had both indulged in a little friends with benefits action, and everyone was a great deal happier because of it.

It’s funny because most of my couple-up friends had similar stories to tell when I asked them of their sexual exploits. The majority of them had at least once indulged in an infidelity, and their relationships were flowing along quite nicely.

Could it be that friends with benefits is actually the answer to a long and happy marriage or relationship?

Maybe we should just cut the crap and get on with it, just as I am? Wouldn’t the world be a much happier place if sex dating was considered the “norm”?