Why No One Talks About Friends With Benefits Anymore

Friends with benefits – is it the answer that everyone has been searching for? Couple-up friends are interrogated for the truth…

Exactly what the title says really – what’s up with that? I remember five years ago when my friends and I were first indulging in the so called friends with benefits situations, it was the biggest craze. Now everyone is settling down, getting married and having babies… Am I too young to still be having mind-blowing sex with complete strangers? Or is society just not grown-up enough to deal with it?

I decided to ask a few of my married and coupled-up friends what their views were on the situation, and to be honest, I wasn’t all that surprised by what I found out.

My friend Janet lives in downtown Port Elizabeth and has been married to James for about five years I guess. They are happily married, and they have just had their first child – a baby girl. They both have good jobs and enjoy luxurious vacations. I used to wonder from time to time if I was missing out on something by not having what they were having. Luckily I’m friends with them enough for them to spill their guts out to me! 😉

Janet said that she recently indulged in extra-curricular activity with the gardener they had hired to sort out the backyard after a long, bitter winter. Neither of the two had time to do it so they called a guy, and what a guy turned up! He was hot – every part the gardener fantasy you would imagine. She hit on him, he gave in and eventually, they were screwing in the couch just twenty minutes before James was due to come home. It was exciting, a fantasy she had always had, and possibly one of the most exhilarating experiences she had ever had.

Both of them knew that the relationship would never go any further than casual sex, and when the job was done, they said their goodbye’s without so much as a second thought. Janet got the confidence boost she had needed after the baby had been born, and some of her needs, as well as her garden, got the sorting out it needed.

James regularly travelled for work, and in fact, we even travelled together on a few trips. We’ve slept together a handful of times, and this happened when we were talking about my sexual preferences, and he admitted that he often did the same – used sex date websites to get the sexual gratification Janet hadn’t been giving him since the baby had come along.

Neither of the two were any the wiser as to what the other was doing, and they both got something out of it that they felt was missing. They had both indulged in a little friends with benefits action, and everyone was a great deal happier because of it.

It’s funny because most of my couple-up friends had similar stories to tell when I asked them of their sexual exploits. The majority of them had at least once indulged in an infidelity, and their relationships were flowing along quite nicely.

Could it be that friends with benefits is actually the answer to a long and happy marriage or relationship?

Maybe we should just cut the crap and get on with it, just as I am? Wouldn’t the world be a much happier place if sex dating was considered the “norm”?

The Insider’s Guide To Creating An Attractive Sex Dating Profile

Getting laid means having an attractive sex dating profile – find out how to get one!

Let’s get to the point about this, shall we? You are not going to have much luck in the sex dating world if you don’t have something to sparkling in your profile. What’s the point in having those little boxes to fill with information if you are not going to fill them out?

Here’s a free little hint for you – we don’t like and won’t reply to those that have sweet FA on their profile pages. If you want to make that sex dating website in South Africa website that you searched for work for you, you’re going to need to put a little work in!

A great profile envelops a lot of different things. You are going to need a good profile picture. This goes without saying. You also need to have information about you to start getting them interested, while leaving enough to the imagination to spark up a message from a potential sex date tonight.

Starting with the profile picture, and there are a few things that you should bear in mind:

*A naked profile picture is fine BUT most people won’t find it all that classy. Try to keep it clean – leave something to the imagination. Men – you may have a massive penis but the ladies love to unwrap something that big that they don’t know about, than wonder at the arrogance of having a penis for a profile picture.

*Make sure it is a current picture. What’s the point in putting up a pic of you in your early twenties, when that was twenty years ago? Surely the date will notice when you turn up and are greyer, fatter, balder, or uglier than you was back then. They won’t jump into bed with you anyway, just because they are there. You are likely to find a glass of water in the face and an empty bed.

*Try to incorporate some of your personality into things. If you like to play football, have a football themed picture as your profile picture – playing, watching, wearing an Ajax Cape Town strip, etc.

Now we come to the most important bit – the bit where you introduce yourself.

You are going to need to have a sense of humor here, but try to get to the point. Who are you? What do you do? Why are you here? What are you looking for? Try to answer those four questions, without it sounding too much like a script, and you will be on the right track. You are at least on the way to having someone show some interest and ask a follow-on question. How can you have a follow-on question to a profile that simply says “If you like what you see, message me!”?

When it comes to getting to the point with your “What are you looking for?” question, try to be as honest as possible. If you’re not looking for a long term friend with benefit, and would much rather prefer a one-night kind of affair, say as such. What’s the point in leading someone on? You may as well be in a relationship.

Shocking Ways NSA Sex Will Make You Better In Bed

Although taboo, NSA sex has a funny way of making you a better lover in bed. Why not find out the shocking ways how…?

Everyone thinks that NSA sex is a mindless activity – the act of two people coming together and just meeting up for sex and nothing else. There’s something pretty primal about the act, it must be said, but that’s not the be-all and end-all of the situation. Believe it or not, NSA sex CAN and WILL make you BETTER in bed!

Take Kate and Robert, for example. Kate is a student living at the University of Cape Town, and Robert is too. Kate had a pretty steady boyfriend that she’d been dating for a couple of years, but she wondered if she was missing out on something by not having as many sexual experiences as her partner. He had slept with over ten women, and she had only ever slept with him.

They broke it off for a summer to see if their relationship was “meant to be”, and Kate took no time at all in signing up to an NSA dating website in South Africa, and letting her hair down.

She met up with James and had been casually dating him for a couple of months. She had never given her boyfriend successful oral sex, and she wanted to learn how to do it. James happily let her practice away, giving her help and advice where appropriate, and she gradually became a lot better at it.

The moral of this story is that although Kate and Robert got back together, got married, and are currently expecting their first child, she learned a lot in that summer they had broken up. She learned a lot about herself and the way she liked to be touched, as well as learning a lot about what men like. After all, how can you know what to expect if you’ve only ever done it the same way, with the same person?

Of course, this is not something that would work for every couple, and I personally know of at least three couples that have broken down entirely trying the same approach. However, in some situations NSA sex CAN and WILL make you BETTER in bed.

Some people try their hand at casual dating for more sexual experience. Some use it because they don’t really fancy a proper long-term relationship. Some don’t have the time for a full-term relationship. It doesn’t matter the reason behind it, there is always a chance to learn and grow as long as you are openminded about things.

You can learn a lot about “different” sex. For example, during that summer they spent apart, Kate dated a guy called Aidan, who liked to tie her up and play with her body, driving her to distraction. This is something that she subtly hinted to Robert when they got back together, and in the end, they found something they both loved, that actually managed to boost their relationship, both in the bedroom, and out of it. She learnt to trust him a lot more, letting him tie her up and having his wicked way with her, and he learned new ways to pleasure her, bringing home the fact that he was still the best lover she had ever had. They grew together and as they grew, they learned.

If You Read One Article About Looking For Sex Read This One

As a successful NSA dater, I’ve learned things the hard way. Let me make life easier by giving you everything you need to know about casual sex dating.

As a 30-something women that has recently delved into the world of casual sex dating after a particularly unpleasant divorce from a man that was so boring, I’m sure my cat had a more interesting life, I feel I can easily comment on how easy (or how difficult) it is looking for sex from casual dates. I’ve met a range of different guys from the “I’m not looking for a relationship either…” guys that end up falling in love with me after three dates and precisely sixteen bottles of wine, to the “Oh-so-distant” guys whose names I’m not overly sure of, let alone anything else. He’s just in the phone as “Great Sex in Park Guy”, for obvious reasons! 😉

I’ve done the trawling for bars thing and honestly, after the age of about 28, I hardly think this is appropriate. I’m not as young as I used to be, and I can’t handle the drink like I used to. I no longer wanted to look for easy men in packed nightclubs, barely even managing to hear what his name was, let alone what his address was so I could hop to his in a cab later! I wanted to have a nice, relaxed meal in a restaurant, followed by a glass of wine at his place, preceding the amazing, mind-blowing sex I hoped we were going to have. I’m not a twenty-something singley anymore; I’m a 30-something woman, and I expect to be treated as such.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for slapping my ass and pulling my hair, but hooking up with greasy guys in dirty clubs just isn’t my thing anymore.

South African NSA dating sites are actually not quite as seedy as I felt they should be. In my head I had imagined old men, wearing string vests and broken flip-flops, trying to hit on me with old-school chat up lines that would make me snort out my wine in derision. It wasn’t anywhere near as seedy as I thought, which just goes to show that if I was wrong, you probably will be too.

If it’s easy sex you’re looking for, the internet is most definitely the way to go.

There are a few other things I’ve learned in the journey for the perfect NSA sex dating life. Being myself is a must now. In my first few dates, I tried so hard to impress the other person that I just didn’t enjoy the date and, at the end of the night, I found myself going home alone because I had been such terrible company. I no longer care how stupid my laugh looks or how cross-eyed I get after one too many glasses of vino. If he does, he shouldn’t be on the date. He won’t be looking into my eyes as he pounds me from behind, and if I’m laughing during sex, you’re not doing it right.

A few other tips that I’ve learned include being a bit naughty in the profile picture. I’m not baring any flesh that I wouldn’t want to be seen in public, but at the same time, I’m showing just enough to leave you wondering what else is going on. There’s nothing wrong with being a bit flirty. If it’s convention you’re after, you should just join a “regular” dating site. You’re planning on screwing these men and women later, what’s the point in being coy now? 🙂

Doing Casual Sex The Right Way

Casual sex – is there really a right and wrong approach to finding it? And getting it right?

Casual sex is not really considered the “norm” so it’s hardly the type of conversation that you can have with your “regular” friends. How are you meant to tell your recently coupled-up best mate that you’ve had three different women (or men) in the last week, and each one was completely different from the one before? Most men could only ever dream of something like that, and most of them wouldn’t exactly have the balls to actually act on it shout the situation arise. It’s tough to know where to go for advice, right?

A lot of my new casual dating friends have asked me various questions over the last couple of years so I’ve decided to come up with an FAQ of sorts… I hope it helps you like its helped them! 🙂

How do I make sure my wife doesn’t find out?

Right, clearly this applies to anyone indulging in a bit of extra-curricular activity… There are a few rules to think about here:

Don’t do it where you live. It doesn’t get any simpler than that really. If you want to get caught, go for dates with your casual lovers in the pubs that you regularly drink in, or stay at hotels where you know the people that work there. That’s a ridiculous idea. If you live in Fairview, for example, move outside of the area to have your illicit encounters. What about moving a little further towards Port Elizabeth? Let’s say Port Elizabeth Central. Even further if you can manage it.

Don’t leave messages on your phone. Don’t Go home with lipstick on your collar. Don’t leave without showering and go home to her smelling like another woman’s perfume. This is easy-peasy stuff guys and girls, you should already be getting this bit right.

Don’t let the other person have control. Clearly this is important – if they call the shots all the time, naming the place, specifying the time and date, etc. you run the risk of getting carried along for a wild and bumpy ride. At all times, try to keep things on an even keel… More often that not, the one that is left hanging is the one that starts to develop feelings… #JustSaying

Always be straight and upfront with your new lover. This means that they will need to know about the wife at home. What’s the point in lying anyway? They are bound to find out sooner or later, and there’s no chance of the two of you ever having a relationship so what’s to hide. If it’s just a bit of adult casual dating you are both after, neither of you will be overly concerned with what the other is doing in their spare time.

Try to keep things simple. This should go without saying really – the more complex your lies, the harder they are going to be to remember. Keep things simple and just tty to avoid getting caught. If you have started “working late” a lot recently, but your wife just happens to be best friends with your boss, you are going to get caught. Women are smarter than you’d think… they’ll find a way to catch you out. You just need to try and stay one step ahead of the game. That’s the trick behind it! 😉

Casual Sex Dating Taboos You Should Break

Fancy dipping your toes in the casual sex dating world? Here are some of the biggest taboos that you should break!

Let’s face it; it might be 2015 but casual sex dating is still very much considered to be a taboo. If women indulge in a spot of NSA fun, they are considered to be “easy” or any one of the “bad” words that you’ve probably already heard of. If a guy does it, he gets a slap on the back from his buddies, and every one celebrates with a nice cold beer in their local Bethelsdorp bar.

You can’t deny that double standards still exist, but male and female alike, there are certain taboos that you SHOULD and WILL break through when you enter the realms of the casual sex dating worlds. One thing is most definitely for sure – your life is about to change if you’ve never given this a shot before.

It is bad to sleep with someone on the first date…

Really? Is it really that big a deal if a woman opens her legs on the first date? If she has fun, and he has fun, and it’s consensual, enjoyable sex, who really cares whether or not its the fifth date, or the first?

You should never swap names or phone numbers…

Okay, so if you are cheating on a long term partner (or even short term), giving out real names, Facebook web pages and phone numbers is probably not the best idea in the world. There’s a good chance that you are going to get caught if you leave a paper trail. However, if you are a single pringle, enjoying a few nights out as a single guy or gal, swap names, phone numbers, email address, whatever you want. It could become a regular thing. This doesn’t mean a boyfriend or girlfriend situation; this means a regular casual sex thing with someone that you actually like, and knows how to work you in the bedroom.

Casual sex is dirty…

This is just ridiculous. Most of us have had just as naughty experiences with long term partners, if not naughtier, than they do with the casual sex partners they come across. Admittedly some people out there find it easier to bare their sexual preferences with someone they barely know, but for the most part, there is very little “dirty” (in the bad way) about casual sex dating.

Enjoying great sex can hardly be seen as dirty, can it?

Casual sex dating is just shagging a whole load of different people…

Some casual daters have the same sexual partners for years in a row, barely even thinking about sleeping with anyone else. Just because you are just sleeping with one person, doesn’t mean that it’s evolving into a relationship. You can casually date someone for ever… In fact, most people would probably prefer this. Imagine not needing to go through a breakup!

You can’t learn anything emotionally…

Casual sex dating is MORE beneficial if you want to learn about love, sex, lust and relationships. You will learn about a lot of different people, and you will learn a lot of different lessons, both in the bedroom and out of it. You won’t be hurting anyone’s feelings by choosing to be upfront about your casual dating, and that’s a good thing because honesty is something rarely found these days.

There are a lot of taboos surrounding the topic of casual sex dating but just remember this – gay dating was once seen as a taboo, and they are now allowed to get married in some places! Evolution of relationships – could casual sex dating actually be the future?

7 Ways Sex Is Completely Overrated

Sex – it’s a lot of work and many people don’t even enjoy it that much. Taking a closer look & here’s seven ways that we’ve shown sex is completely overrated.

Sex… It’s a topic of conversation that is bound to divide opinion. We’re sleeping around too much or we’re not getting it enough. We’re worried about whether we are doing it right, or whether the other person is actually enjoying it. Should we wear this? Should we try that? Are we really meant to stick that in there?!

Sex brings with it a thousand and one thoughts, and will create arguments between otherwise rational people. There is no denying that the physical act of sex itself is pleasurable. Most of us probably wouldn’t even bother doing it if it wasn’t. But sex… is it completely overrated?

Let’s bear in mind that most relationships will start with the couple enjoying bountiful amounts of sex. They’ll be at it like bunnies in those first throes of romance, bonking at every possible opportunity, and spreading their wild seeds all over Algoa Park, but when it comes to happily settling down in New Brighton, with a dog, three kids and a mortgage to mountain, sex goes out the window. Could this be that in the grand scheme of things, sex IS overrated? And that there are so many more important things in life to worry about than the act of sex alone?

Sex is overrated because it’s a lot of hassle. There’s the shaving of the legs, or the hair-removal of the *cough* testicles. Come on guys – admit it. You’ve all done it. You primp and preen for a night of passion, but in reality, you get a drunken fumble in the back of the taxi, heading home from that hip Port Elizabeth bar you happened to find them in.

Sex is overrated because we rarely get it right. Let’s be honest about this shall we, most of us have faked it at one point or another with a partner… Whether we are male or female, we must all hold our hands up and say that we’ve done it at least the month. We rarely get it right and you know what; it’s okay. Our bodies aren’t machines. They are designed to be played like a piano. They don’t work in predictable ways. Therefore sex won’t be as you predicted. You might climax too soon, or not climax at all. Things go wrong.

Sex is overrated because it’s a lot of work. Come on guys – think about the hard work you need to put in when you are happily pounding away at your woman. After a while your knees start to hurt, and your muscles in your arms start to give way. The same goes the other way with the girls – your abs are killing because you’ve spent your entire time sucking your own stomach in. It’s not a lot of fun after a while, and it sure is a lot of hard work. Just think of the calories you are burning off! 😉

Sex is overrated because you have to start doing new things to enjoy the “sparkle”. You read it everywhere don’t you – spice up your sex life. Wear naughty lingerie. Buy sex toys. Start using scenarios like two strangers in a bar. Putting things up your… You get the idea, right? Using your imagination that much just feels like a lot of work sometimes.

Sex is overrated because there are so many other important things in life. I guess that’s enough said really… We all know how that one feels.

Sex is overrated because there are so many other ways to indulge in that intimacy. Sometimes a well-timed cuddle will do.

Sex is overrated because it really isn’t that important. There are many happy couples out there that have been together for years and years and years, and haven’t had sex for many of them. Maybe, just maybe, if you took the stress and hassle of sex out of the equation, life would be a lot simpler… and perhaps much more relaxed too.

I certainly wouldn’t turn it down though! 😉