Casual sex – is there really a right and wrong approach to finding it? And getting it right?
Casual sex is not really considered the “norm” so it’s hardly the type of conversation that you can have with your “regular” friends. How are you meant to tell your recently coupled-up best mate that you’ve had three different women (or men) in the last week, and each one was completely different from the one before? Most men could only ever dream of something like that, and most of them wouldn’t exactly have the balls to actually act on it shout the situation arise. It’s tough to know where to go for advice, right?
A lot of my new casual dating friends have asked me various questions over the last couple of years so I’ve decided to come up with an FAQ of sorts… I hope it helps you like its helped them! 🙂
How do I make sure my wife doesn’t find out?
Right, clearly this applies to anyone indulging in a bit of extra-curricular activity… There are a few rules to think about here:
Don’t do it where you live. It doesn’t get any simpler than that really. If you want to get caught, go for dates with your casual lovers in the pubs that you regularly drink in, or stay at hotels where you know the people that work there. That’s a ridiculous idea. If you live in Fairview, for example, move outside of the area to have your illicit encounters. What about moving a little further towards Port Elizabeth? Let’s say Port Elizabeth Central. Even further if you can manage it.
Don’t leave messages on your phone. Don’t Go home with lipstick on your collar. Don’t leave without showering and go home to her smelling like another woman’s perfume. This is easy-peasy stuff guys and girls, you should already be getting this bit right.
Don’t let the other person have control. Clearly this is important – if they call the shots all the time, naming the place, specifying the time and date, etc. you run the risk of getting carried along for a wild and bumpy ride. At all times, try to keep things on an even keel… More often that not, the one that is left hanging is the one that starts to develop feelings… #JustSaying
Always be straight and upfront with your new lover. This means that they will need to know about the wife at home. What’s the point in lying anyway? They are bound to find out sooner or later, and there’s no chance of the two of you ever having a relationship so what’s to hide. If it’s just a bit of adult casual dating you are both after, neither of you will be overly concerned with what the other is doing in their spare time.
Try to keep things simple. This should go without saying really – the more complex your lies, the harder they are going to be to remember. Keep things simple and just tty to avoid getting caught. If you have started “working late” a lot recently, but your wife just happens to be best friends with your boss, you are going to get caught. Women are smarter than you’d think… they’ll find a way to catch you out. You just need to try and stay one step ahead of the game. That’s the trick behind it! 😉