How To Cheat At Sex And Get Away With It

Aways wondered how those that cheat managed to get away with it? Elusive secrets to reveal how to cheat at sex successfully!

Come on – we’ve all be tempted to cheat on our partners from time to time, haven’t we? We’ve all had that one BLAZING row that we thought could end the whole relationship, or that period of absolutely ZERO sex that left us wondering whether or not we had a relationship left at all.

The thing you need to remember about cheating at sex and getting away with it is that you need to be smart. There are a few rules that you’ll need to follow, but as long as you do, you should find that you get away with it quite nicely. I’ve managed it enough times anyway 😉

Rule 1: Keep things simple

If you can’t keep things simple, it’s going to get complicated. It really is as simple as that. If you make up long and complex lies to cover the fact that you were happily screwing a girl in the neighbouring Port Elizabeth town, you are going to need to remember what you’ve said. The simpler you keep your lies, the easier it is going to be to remember them. You were with Blaine, and you went for a few drinks. That’s it… You decided to stay in a hotel rather than drive home drunk. Technically, she should thank you for it. And you have a reason for the hotel room being in your credit card bill, bringing me nicely to me next point…

Rule 2: Pay in cash

If you want to avoid a paper trail, pay for everything associate with your sex cheating in cash. The hotel room, the underwear, the credit for the cheap pay as you go phone you bought to prevent your beloved other half going through your phone and finding the messages form your lover – anything and everything should be paid for in cash. It would be easier to lie about a cash withdrawal than it will be for a credit card bill for a well known underwear chain… Do you see my point here?

Rule 3: If they find it, it’s theirs

If you’ve bought some nice new underwear for your lover, or a nice watch, and it is found by your actual partner, it’s theirs. If the size is wrong, say that you made a mistake. Don’t admit to anything and once again, keep things simple. If they find the second secret phone you have, you’re stuffed, so I would advise that this is kept on silent (not vibrate) and hidden at all times.

Rule 4: Always wear a condom

Imagine having to explain to your husband or wife that you have accidentally caught chlamydia from the girl/guy you were sleeping with a few months back. If you wear a condom, you are dramatically reducing your chances of situations like this from happening. It’s just common sense to have safe sex, but it’s always good to reiterate the point!

Rule 5: Nobody knows…

If you are tempted to tell a buddy about your illicit affair, don’t. The more people that know means the more people that could potentially tell your other half. For example, if you tell your friend Brad, and Brad knows Miranda, who works with your wife’s sister, the chain of Chinese whispers will start and before you know it, there will be tales of you bonking some brunette in the back of the cinema before you know it.

Doing Casual Sex The Right Way

Casual sex – is there really a right and wrong approach to finding it? And getting it right?

Casual sex is not really considered the “norm” so it’s hardly the type of conversation that you can have with your “regular” friends. How are you meant to tell your recently coupled-up best mate that you’ve had three different women (or men) in the last week, and each one was completely different from the one before? Most men could only ever dream of something like that, and most of them wouldn’t exactly have the balls to actually act on it shout the situation arise. It’s tough to know where to go for advice, right?

A lot of my new casual dating friends have asked me various questions over the last couple of years so I’ve decided to come up with an FAQ of sorts… I hope it helps you like its helped them! 🙂

How do I make sure my wife doesn’t find out?

Right, clearly this applies to anyone indulging in a bit of extra-curricular activity… There are a few rules to think about here:

Don’t do it where you live. It doesn’t get any simpler than that really. If you want to get caught, go for dates with your casual lovers in the pubs that you regularly drink in, or stay at hotels where you know the people that work there. That’s a ridiculous idea. If you live in Fairview, for example, move outside of the area to have your illicit encounters. What about moving a little further towards Port Elizabeth? Let’s say Port Elizabeth Central. Even further if you can manage it.

Don’t leave messages on your phone. Don’t Go home with lipstick on your collar. Don’t leave without showering and go home to her smelling like another woman’s perfume. This is easy-peasy stuff guys and girls, you should already be getting this bit right.

Don’t let the other person have control. Clearly this is important – if they call the shots all the time, naming the place, specifying the time and date, etc. you run the risk of getting carried along for a wild and bumpy ride. At all times, try to keep things on an even keel… More often that not, the one that is left hanging is the one that starts to develop feelings… #JustSaying

Always be straight and upfront with your new lover. This means that they will need to know about the wife at home. What’s the point in lying anyway? They are bound to find out sooner or later, and there’s no chance of the two of you ever having a relationship so what’s to hide. If it’s just a bit of adult casual dating you are both after, neither of you will be overly concerned with what the other is doing in their spare time.

Try to keep things simple. This should go without saying really – the more complex your lies, the harder they are going to be to remember. Keep things simple and just tty to avoid getting caught. If you have started “working late” a lot recently, but your wife just happens to be best friends with your boss, you are going to get caught. Women are smarter than you’d think… they’ll find a way to catch you out. You just need to try and stay one step ahead of the game. That’s the trick behind it! 😉